and she left ...

He hurt her feelings and she felt dumb for letting him in the first place. 
She accepted him into her life because she loved him.
There was a spark between them and she couldn't deny it even from the very first time they met.
Perhaps that was why she allowed him in.


The loneliness. The excitement. The way he treated her like a princess.
It used to be that lovely. She knew it was hell disguised as heaven.
Roses everywhere...

Now that he got what he wanted
She begged him to stay but he left
Was it something she said or done?
She was unsure. All she knew was that it is over.
It was bitter but she swallowed it still.
Her tears couldn't roll down more. She just stood there filled with emptiness.
She realised she was lonely. She was afraid. She felt disgusted of herself.
He took part of her soul; her heart.

"God blesses his soul," she whispered to herself and left.
The door closes. She looked up and hoped for the beginning of something new.
It's over. 

~miscellaneous~

I miss you
I still do
The way you looked at me
The way you smiled

----------------------------------

Let's pretend you're mine
and I'm yours
Because dreams are sweeter than reality

---------------------------------

Perhaps it's meant to be...
that you and I remain this way
and even it's for a short while
I still enjoy every second of it

---------------------------------

I find it cruel
that things have to be this way
I hope it'll lead me somewhere better 
because the place i'm in now has so much pain

----------------------------------

I know I'm not the only one
But who am I to tell you otherwise?
I'm nobody ... 

---------------------------------

Perhaps this is karma
because karma is not sweet
it's so bitter
it makes you want to give up on life

----------------------------------

I wish things are different
because it's so painful
I wish you can see my pain
because that way you'll understand me

It's okay

People come and go
It's okay I supposed
I did that too in the past

People miss each other
They miss the beautiful memories they created together
It's okay I supposed
They'll create new ones again

People fall in and out of love
It's okay I supposed
They usually do that

People hurt each other
They hurt till they cry
Things will get better I supposed
They usually do

A Special Place

Everything changes
but the feelings I have for you
will remain forever

What have you done to make me feel this way
I do not know
All I know is that I saved a special place 
for you in my heart. 

The truth about part-time lovers

Sex without love...Is it even possible?

Personally, I think it's impossible. One just don't get intimate with someone whom he or she doesn't trust or know. Unless you're drunk or you're just born to be emotionless. I don't know. At least, that's what I think. 

F**k No Strings Attached. F**k Friends for Benefits.

Both of you had sex and both you wanted more. Maybe not with the one you had sex with but perhaps with someone else. We all wished our lives weren't that f**ked up. I supposed we all live in denial. We say we don't need love to be intimate but we actually do. Those who don't are just unaware of it. They prefer it to remain that way; to protect themselves from getting hurt or disappointed. 

Friends with benefits. Is it all about the benefits?
I'd say f**k that s**t. It's more of controlling your emotions and protecting your feelings which actually lead us back to what we're all actually doing - 'living in denial'. We reminded ourselves that we don't care about each other and we kept doing so until we're convinced that it's the truth or is it?

There must be at least a tiny drop of feelings or emotions when you're with your so called 'friend for benefits' or 'part time lover' or whatever you may called it. It's not merely lust. That's why the word 'Friend' is there. You have a friend and both of you fancy each other's companion. Benefits obviously means satisfying each other sexually but what about friend? Obviously, it serves as being able to complete each other with what both of you are lacking - love and care. Yes, the emotions part. It's about completing each other emotionally. And that's how it works. You both complete each other emotionally and physically. 

People tend to admit being physically satisfied but not emotionally because it's too difficult to accept the truth of being alone. There's too much pain and embarrassment. Therefore, we prefer sweeping it under the rug as it's better that way. Sex is enough. F**k the lonely part. We comfort ourselves by saying we'll find someone special in the future. Maybe not now but perhaps in the near future. It's sad but it's the truth. 

I'm not trying to draw any conclusions here. I'm just saying this based on my personal opinion. No offense. 

Out.

I guess this is goodbye

We can never be together
it's fine i supposed
looking into our situation
it would be impossible to
build a serious relationship
being friends is fine
and i guess i need to move on
it was never love
it was purely lust
and i shall go
it's hard but i will go
so i guess this is goodbye

A complicated relationship

A complicated relationship
It is a feud between the mind and the heart
When you love someone who is attached to somebody
But yet he doesn't even seem to be attached with his partner
nor with you
That is real pain

But somehow you love the attention
You love being pampered
You love his kisses
You love the way he touches you; strokes your hair

But yet you're afraid of revealing your true self
Because deep down you know that it would kill your soul