~miscellaneous~

I miss you
I still do
The way you looked at me
The way you smiled

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Let's pretend you're mine
and I'm yours
Because dreams are sweeter than reality

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Perhaps it's meant to be...
that you and I remain this way
and even it's for a short while
I still enjoy every second of it

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I find it cruel
that things have to be this way
I hope it'll lead me somewhere better 
because the place i'm in now has so much pain

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I know I'm not the only one
But who am I to tell you otherwise?
I'm nobody ... 

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Perhaps this is karma
because karma is not sweet
it's so bitter
it makes you want to give up on life

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I wish things are different
because it's so painful
I wish you can see my pain
because that way you'll understand me

It's okay

People come and go
It's okay I supposed
I did that too in the past

People miss each other
They miss the beautiful memories they created together
It's okay I supposed
They'll create new ones again

People fall in and out of love
It's okay I supposed
They usually do that

People hurt each other
They hurt till they cry
Things will get better I supposed
They usually do

A Special Place

Everything changes
but the feelings I have for you
will remain forever

What have you done to make me feel this way
I do not know
All I know is that I saved a special place 
for you in my heart. 

The truth about part-time lovers

Sex without love...Is it even possible?

Personally, I think it's impossible. One just don't get intimate with someone whom he or she doesn't trust or know. Unless you're drunk or you're just born to be emotionless. I don't know. At least, that's what I think. 

F**k No Strings Attached. F**k Friends for Benefits.

Both of you had sex and both you wanted more. Maybe not with the one you had sex with but perhaps with someone else. We all wished our lives weren't that f**ked up. I supposed we all live in denial. We say we don't need love to be intimate but we actually do. Those who don't are just unaware of it. They prefer it to remain that way; to protect themselves from getting hurt or disappointed. 

Friends with benefits. Is it all about the benefits?
I'd say f**k that s**t. It's more of controlling your emotions and protecting your feelings which actually lead us back to what we're all actually doing - 'living in denial'. We reminded ourselves that we don't care about each other and we kept doing so until we're convinced that it's the truth or is it?

There must be at least a tiny drop of feelings or emotions when you're with your so called 'friend for benefits' or 'part time lover' or whatever you may called it. It's not merely lust. That's why the word 'Friend' is there. You have a friend and both of you fancy each other's companion. Benefits obviously means satisfying each other sexually but what about friend? Obviously, it serves as being able to complete each other with what both of you are lacking - love and care. Yes, the emotions part. It's about completing each other emotionally. And that's how it works. You both complete each other emotionally and physically. 

People tend to admit being physically satisfied but not emotionally because it's too difficult to accept the truth of being alone. There's too much pain and embarrassment. Therefore, we prefer sweeping it under the rug as it's better that way. Sex is enough. F**k the lonely part. We comfort ourselves by saying we'll find someone special in the future. Maybe not now but perhaps in the near future. It's sad but it's the truth. 

I'm not trying to draw any conclusions here. I'm just saying this based on my personal opinion. No offense. 

Out.

I guess this is goodbye

We can never be together
it's fine i supposed
looking into our situation
it would be impossible to
build a serious relationship
being friends is fine
and i guess i need to move on
it was never love
it was purely lust
and i shall go
it's hard but i will go
so i guess this is goodbye

A complicated relationship

A complicated relationship
It is a feud between the mind and the heart
When you love someone who is attached to somebody
But yet he doesn't even seem to be attached with his partner
nor with you
That is real pain

But somehow you love the attention
You love being pampered
You love his kisses
You love the way he touches you; strokes your hair

But yet you're afraid of revealing your true self
Because deep down you know that it would kill your soul

Your Choice, Darling

Up in that mountain
Promise me you won't let me go
I let you hold my hands for a reason
So don't walk away from me, Darling

All the worries,
all the pain within
I left them behind as you hold my hands
Being here is not easy for me
nor am I saying it is, for you, Darling

The agony is no pleasure to me
Touch it and you can feel it
I'll let you uncover these flaws

So stay with me, Darling
Hold my hands,
even if it's only for a moment, like you said.

Not Difficult

My sorrow is my drug

It reminds me of you

It hurts so much 

to picture myself without you

If only things are different

Perhaps it's true that some things 

are meant to be undone

This pain I must deny

This feelings I must cast aside

I wonder if you can sense it in my kisses

Because darling, it's not difficult to love you

Could it be lust? Could it be love?

Is it lust that brought us together?
What do you see in me my darling?
Am I just another woman you lusted for?

I let you kissed me 
I let you touched me
Even if I know that we can never be together

The circumstances of being with you
oh it's too much for me
I wonder if it brings me more woes 
or if it heals the broken heart within

The heart that yearns for love
The heart that yearns for you
Your kiss and your touch
The heart that wants you to only want me...

Let's Pretend

Dance with me
Dance and oh this sweet sweet melody
Let's pretend that we're the only ones that exist

Close your eyes
Close them oh so tight
And let's pretend that things would be much better than this

Walk with me
Walk with me side by side
And let's pretend that this journey will never end

Hold my hands
Hold them with all your strength
And let's pretend that it will stay that way forever

Different

I see you are a lover; a friend
or maybe you just know your way of treating a lady
To make a girl feels more like a woman
Yet the visible broken pieces 
No wonder you are the best shoulder to cry on

The joy comforts this soul
One could mistake it for passion
Perhaps it is ...

The warmness of falling asleep in your arms
to feel your kisses and touch
A gaze into the windows of your soul
Calms this terrible storm within

Dark Love

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” ― Marilyn Monroe

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She once knew a man who would treat her like a princess

Sometimes she wondered why he had never found his princess

She was not his princess and they accepted it well

Perhaps it was his dark past

Perhaps it was him being mysterious

There were lots of 'perhaps' when being with him

And she wished that tings would be much more easier for her - lesser 'perhaps'

He knew what he was doing

She knew it ... 

He was imperfect. He was not flawless

But his kindness, his charm, his courage, his way of treating her with respect 

He was never selfish - he wanted to please her

These made her thought for a while

Where could his princess be?

Definitely not me, she whispered

She was quite certain about it ... or perhaps not

It was a pity ... Indeed it was a loss

Perhaps he has one or used to

She had one but that's history

Focus...

He made her heart beat twice faster

She knew it all along

Perhaps he knew it too

She was not fooling around

She just wanted to get the affection she missed out 

It would be awkward 

But who cares?

People might find out

But who cares?

It might ruin her

But who cares?

She cares...

She does care...

And that would be her biggest mistake.

The spark between them was too strong

Oh it was very strong indeed

Very very strong - I can assure you

Because, if it was not strong, her pillows would not be soaked in tears.

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She wanted to run ... she wanted to leave

She needed the comfort ... assurance that everything would be fine

That was all she needed. For now. 

The Untitled One

Love is dangerous game ...

Let me tell you a story about a girl. A girl who just wanted to have fun and live her life to the fullest. Her frustration towards life broke her inside out. 

She has a boyfriend and they were quite happy until now ...

She never felt contented when she was with him. It was more of her emotional and sexual sides. 
She knew he could never made her happy.
It was always about him. It was never about her. He was self-centred. 

Not to mention his unpredictable actions which affected her in certain ways. 
His beliefs ... everything was not right. At least, that was what she thought.

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Her frustrations and disappointments led her to fall deep into a dangerous game of love and deceit. 

All she wanted was to have her dreams come true. She failed; so screw it, she said.

She felt disgusted with herself. 
She was afraid. 
The truth is she didn't even know what she was afraid about. 
Her heart beat faster than before. 

But yet, she didn't want it to stop. Not now.