Monday, 15 July 2013

~ Gossip Girls ~

Lately, I have known a group of girlfriends whom I refer as 'Gossip Girls'. They are the kind of 'Gossip Girls' who take pleasure of talking about people behind their backs - their best friends are not excluded. They are not the kind of girls who create wild stories or rumuors about others but they are the type who usually describe their actions as 'catching up the latest issues on friends' or mainly 'sharing stories among one another'. To me, whatever these girls said about themselves, I honestly think that their actions do count as gossiping. 

As a graduate language student myself, I have learnt that gossiping is typical among ladies and ladies enjoy talking about trivial matters. I could give you a list of research journals that proved what I said is precisely correct but I do not want to turn my blog into some kind of a research journal quoting proofs from other researchers. My friend did her final year project on 'Gossiping among Women' and throughout her research, she was not able to find any previous research journals stating that women do not gossip. Almost all the data she found was 'Women speak trivial things aka gossip whilst men speak serious stuff. I do not say this statement is sexist because seriously, as a woman myself, I have to admit that I enjoy talking about my feelings, friends, life itself and families. These are considered as 'trivial' matters to most and also the moment we start to talk about others, it is already known as gossiping! So, ladies, guess we have no choice but to admit this. In fact, I remember there is a study claiming that it is proven women build friendships through discussing 'trivial' matters and gossiping. I am not sure whether it is a good thing although  in my personal opinion, I dare to say that I am proud to have such quality because it makes us-us. Such qualities help us to differ ourselves from men. I am not saying that gossiping is good and I do not mean that it makes us women. only intention is just to share to you people what I learnt as a language student. I learnt that studies have shown women love gossiping and enjoy discussing trivial matters. Therefore, we must accept reality because it has been proven from past researches. Also, note that the only intention I acquire now is to prove society that men, like women do gossip too. Guys, please, do not try to deny this because I have heard most of my guy friends gossip about others and the truth is when men gossip about others, it is twice more worst than girls do. So, guys please... 

Anyway, there is a reason why I brought up the issue about gossip in my recent blog. It happens that I know a group of female acquaintances who enjoy talking about others behind their backs and this includes their own group members which I think is very peculiar indeed. There are rules among best friends which most girls would know and one of them is you are not allowed to gossip about your own best friend with others or leak out her secrets. In fact, if one does this then she is considered a 'b***h' among her friends. Trust me, this is usually the main cause of female arguments and bullies among teenagers in school or colleges. 

Seriously, I find it difficult to understand the group of females I mentioned earlier because they would often gossip about one another and sometimes friends outside the group would also know when something good or bad happened to anyone of them. News would spread to almost everyone they know leaving behind the 'victim' clueless of what happened. I believe they must be so good in whatever they were doing as the person they talked about did not know anything and the people around her know stuff about her. I must say that most of the stories had been exaggerated and honestly, I feel pity for the 'victim'. I can imagine her entering a room with everyone's eyes aiming at her not to mention the sound of silent whispers in the air followed by sarcastic questions from friends. 

Now, I begin to understand the ugly truth about the society we live in these days. I think it is best not to trust anyone including your own best friend because there is a Malay proverb which says,  "Harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi" which advises us not to trust anyone as the person you trust most can turn out to be your worst enemy or in other words, a 'backstabber'.

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