Mind Having a Long Distance Relationship???

So guys, let us talk a little on LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS... 

Yes, I do believe that some of you guys must had experienced long distance relationships before or if not, perhaps you have seen others experienced it. Well, I have several friends who somehow experienced long distance relationships at some point of their lives with their partners. I have seen them trying their best to speak with their girlfriends/boyfriends all the time through instant messages, Yahoo Messenger, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and Skype. I must say that I realized that there is a 50/50 chance of people surviving long distance relationships when I witnessed each one of my friends broke up with their partners back in their hometown and moved on with new people they met in campuses or workplaces. For those who survived through long distance relationships, they used to tell me that as long as there is enough communication, trust, commitments and sacrifices between both, then everything will be alright but seriously, is it substantial?  

I have seen couples breaking up just because they think that their relationship will never work if both are far away from each other. I used to wonder about what makes long distance relationships too difficult for some and I finally came up with a conclusion when I spoke to a guy friend few days ago. He explained to me that the reason long distance relationship is too difficult for him is not because he had to update his ex-girlfriend of what he was doing and where he went all the time but it was because there were times when he might need his girlfriend to be with him and she was unable to do that due to the distance. He also complained to me that he was unable to 'touch' his girlfriend and he said 'touch' is very important for him, not in a bad way though, but it was more like hugging, cuddling and walking hand in hand with each other.

So, I had to relate what my guy friend told me and what the priest said during a seminar I attended at my parish. He told us that the largest human organ is the skin itself and later explained that the sense of touch is very important for us humans and it is used mostly to touch and express our love between one another. This is because we Christians, believe that God created us with the needs to love and to be loved.  He also mentioned to the whole congregations that humans need to hug their loved ones at least twelve times a day in order to avoid themselves from the deprivation of love. At first, I was amused on what the priest had just said but then as I gave it another thought before going to bed that night, I realized that he was actually right. Why did God created us with the sense of touch and why is our skin is known to be the largest human organ if it is not to be used wisely and for those reasons I mentioned above - cuddles, hugs and holding hands? 

I finally understood the things my guy friend said to me when I started to relate his words with what the priest said to us.

What my guy friend actually meant was all he ever wanted was to express his love through the sense of touch and even if his girlfriend was always 'VIRTUALLY'  there for him, yet he still thinks that it is not enough for him.

"It will NEVER be ENOUGH for me.." was his exact words.

If  touching is the way for people to express love, then, I think it is important for couples, husbands and wives, children and parents and siblings to hug each other in order to sustain relationships. And the priest is right when he told us that the reason broken families and relationships exist are because there is a lack expression of love and communication between them. For example, husbands no longer hug, touch or talk to their wives, children no longer kiss or hug their parents before bed or when they wake up every morning and couples rarely cuddle, hug, talk and hold each other hands. 

Anyway, I am not trying to infer that long distance relationships do not work because couples are unable to express their love towards each other by hugging or cuddling. I was merely trying to share with you guys about the reason I think why most long distance relationships failed to work. Some couples managed to survive long distance relationships and it involved a lot of sacrifices, time and commitments. I understand it is not easy to be in one but if you think that the person you love is worth it, why not try giving it a shot? 

However, I also DO NOT guarantee that communications, commitments and time are enough to sustain a relationship especially for those couples who are far away from each other. Just remember that it actually takes two persons to make it happen and even if you think you had done everything in order to save your relationship, you can never avoid things to happen. I mean you guys ARE  far away from each other...

Just think about it guys, even couples who are close to each other and those who are married for YEARS are prone to break up and divorce, what else for those of you who are currently in long distance relationships? 

Feelings changed, people changed and things happened unexpectedly... 

I am not trying to discourage you guys out there but it had happened to people. I have seen seven years of relationship destroyed in just a blink of an eye due to this. 

It happened to my friends.

It happened to me...

When a person is being touched by God

When a person is being touched by God...

It is beautiful
It is wonderful
It is lovely
It is amazing
It is everything 

Indeed, 
it is the greatest experience one could ever had.
Like a power coming
out from one's own being.

She cried for joy
She craved for more
Perhaps it is true that one will never be satisfied by the great love of God.

She wants things
She wants everything
She used to think that at times, she would confuse God
with her worldly desires
and results of envy

She never realized that having God's love is enough...

Be contented of what you have and own.
Be happy of what you got and received.
Seek God's will and He will provide.

How could she be so deaf to listen to the words of God?
How could she be so ignorant?

But I tell you,
when a person is touched by God,

She will know that God will never abandon her
She knows He does things in His time...
and she will wait patiently for the day to arrive

She will glorify God...
She will proclaim to the whole world the GREATNESS of God
God is her one true Lover...
and God will never abandon her...

God knows what is best for His daughter...
Although she is sinful and disobedient most of the times

But God is so good
He is good all the time.
She will TRUST God.

~ Gossip Girls ~

Lately, I have known a group of girlfriends whom I refer as 'Gossip Girls'. They are the kind of 'Gossip Girls' who take pleasure of talking about people behind their backs - their best friends are not excluded. They are not the kind of girls who create wild stories or rumuors about others but they are the type who usually describe their actions as 'catching up the latest issues on friends' or mainly 'sharing stories among one another'. To me, whatever these girls said about themselves, I honestly think that their actions do count as gossiping. 

As a graduate language student myself, I have learnt that gossiping is typical among ladies and ladies enjoy talking about trivial matters. I could give you a list of research journals that proved what I said is precisely correct but I do not want to turn my blog into some kind of a research journal quoting proofs from other researchers. My friend did her final year project on 'Gossiping among Women' and throughout her research, she was not able to find any previous research journals stating that women do not gossip. Almost all the data she found was 'Women speak trivial things aka gossip whilst men speak serious stuff. I do not say this statement is sexist because seriously, as a woman myself, I have to admit that I enjoy talking about my feelings, friends, life itself and families. These are considered as 'trivial' matters to most and also the moment we start to talk about others, it is already known as gossiping! So, ladies, guess we have no choice but to admit this. In fact, I remember there is a study claiming that it is proven women build friendships through discussing 'trivial' matters and gossiping. I am not sure whether it is a good thing although  in my personal opinion, I dare to say that I am proud to have such quality because it makes us-us. Such qualities help us to differ ourselves from men. I am not saying that gossiping is good and I do not mean that it makes us women. No...my only intention is just to share to you people what I learnt as a language student. I learnt that studies have shown women love gossiping and enjoy discussing trivial matters. Therefore, we must accept reality because it has been proven from past researches. Also, note that the only intention I acquire now is to prove society that men, like women do gossip too. Guys, please, do not try to deny this because I have heard most of my guy friends gossip about others and the truth is when men gossip about others, it is twice more worst than girls do. So, guys please... 

Anyway, there is a reason why I brought up the issue about gossip in my recent blog. It happens that I know a group of female acquaintances who enjoy talking about others behind their backs and this includes their own group members which I think is very peculiar indeed. There are rules among best friends which most girls would know and one of them is you are not allowed to gossip about your own best friend with others or leak out her secrets. In fact, if one does this then she is considered a 'b***h' among her friends. Trust me, this is usually the main cause of female arguments and bullies among teenagers in school or colleges. 

Seriously, I find it difficult to understand the group of females I mentioned earlier because they would often gossip about one another and sometimes friends outside the group would also know when something good or bad happened to anyone of them. News would spread to almost everyone they know leaving behind the 'victim' clueless of what happened. I believe they must be so good in whatever they were doing as the person they talked about did not know anything and the people around her know stuff about her. I must say that most of the stories had been exaggerated and honestly, I feel pity for the 'victim'. I can imagine her entering a room with everyone's eyes aiming at her not to mention the sound of silent whispers in the air followed by sarcastic questions from friends. 

Now, I begin to understand the ugly truth about the society we live in these days. I think it is best not to trust anyone including your own best friend because there is a Malay proverb which says,  "Harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi" which advises us not to trust anyone as the person you trust most can turn out to be your worst enemy or in other words, a 'backstabber'.

Young and In Love?

Okay, I was on my sister's Facebook one day and I noticed one of her schoolmates is dating a girl from her class. He's 14 and she's 13 or perhaps 12 going on 13...Too young to date? Duhh...Call me an old-fashioned type of person I wouldn't mind at all. Seriously. He started to chat with me (Well, he wouldn't if he knew I was me-He thought that I was my sister...Evil Laugh) and told me that someone has a crush on my sister at school. I said yeah right and he lol'ed and told me he was just kidding. I told him that I am too young to date (I'm referring to my sister by the way) and besides I only look for cute and smart guys. Obviously, I was being sarcastic and he said that love is in the eyes of the beholder. He even said that he does not think he is too young to date. Well, if only I could explain to him saying:

 'Hey mister! Okay, so you think you are old enough to date? I bet you don't even understand what true love is. In fact, there are a lot of things you barely understand about life, love and so on. Try earning some money yourself and support your girlfriend. Or perhaps, try finding a decent job! Ha! I bet you can barely support yourself, what else your girlfriend? What about kids? What if you have kids and you're just 14? Now tell me mister, how are you going to support yourself, your girlfriend and your baby??? Jeez....'

***Oh by the way, my sister was the one who asked me to log onto her Facebook because she was away with my mum for a retreat.

Seriously, kids nowadays. They only think with their hearts and not with their heads. Plenty of adolescent girls out there quitting school or leaving college due to pregnancies and their boyfriends refused to take responsibility with their actions. Another thing, if the guy does really take responsibility then he would end up as a jerk and treating their wives and kids badly. I am not saying that all guys are jerks but I am just trying to say that the percentage of guys ending up as jerks is sadly very high. I ain't giving you guys statistics here but guys please, it happens around you in the society itself...Life is not always a bed of roses....People would blame one another when something bad happens especially when they failed to achieve their dreams, wishes, hopes or ambitions. There are a lot of young people whose dreams are crushed due to their own actions. Although, sometimes there are friends who tried to advise us by telling us that you still can achieve your dreams. Like they said, where there is a will, there is always a way. But guys, have you ever thought that at some point in your life, in order to fulfill your dreams, sacrifices are needed to be made and most of them involved pain, disappointments, sorrows or frustrations? Like for example, young girls with babies. They cannot just abandoned their responsibilities as a mother and as a parent by sending their babies away for adoptions just so that they can achieve their own dreams. That is called selfish. It would be a heartbreaking moment to see an innocent child is victimized  upon their parent's mistakes. Now do you guys get what I am trying to say? Do not give up they said...but people hey, once you are committed to be as parents, there is no way turning back. You cannot just undo your actions and act as if nothing had happened. So, people especially teens who are currently dating, do think before you do something because it might  turn out to be a bad idea after all and you would regret it for the rest of your life. 

Men In Black: Back In Time

Have you ever thought about returning back ahead of time and change things? Imagine all those bad and embarrassing moments being erased as if nothing had happened. If only there is a counter to purchase tickets to go back in time, I would be the first customer. Unfortunately, I am unable to do so. In fact, no one can. Therefore, I could only close my eyes, sit back and dream...dream...dream of the impossible to happen.

 As I was laying on my bed, I thought about all the stupid stuff I had done in my past. There are a lot of things I would love to change...The first would be taking pure arts instead of pure science back in high school. I bet I would score a lot better if I took pure arts in school...Perhaps I might be a law graduate student now instead of a linguistics and literature graduate. Then, I would also apply for all those scholarships offered by the Malaysian government after graduating from my high school studies.  I remember a schoolmate of mine used to tell me that students who took arts were actually dumb.I thought that what he said does not make any sense at all! 

Anyway, as I was saying...it would be totally amazing to change things and make it better than now and also to avoid embarrassing moments in our lives. Although, I must admit that all the mistakes I did in the past had taught me to be a better and wiser person in life. But I still do wonder about the things that brought sorrows into a person's life and how wonderful it would be if one could easily click a remote and return back in time to avoid himself/herself from individuals who brought only tears into his/her eyes. Seriously, how can sorrows make a person wiser anyway? 

 I have to agree that in certain cases like disappointments can actually be a good thing for certain people sort of a wake up call for them. An optimist would agree with me on this as disappointments may lead to something else better in a person's life. For example, your partner decided to break up with you after years of being in a relationship and you were feeling disappointed. Friends and family will comfort you by telling you that you deserved someone way better and it is true actually. I remember the time I became a shoulder to cry on for my ex-roommate when her crush rejected her. I told her that she deserved someone more better and that the guy who rejected her was blind to even see how sweet, kind and good-looking she is. I am not sure how it ends up for her now but she looks happy the last time we met and I guess she must have found someone better. So, okay, let us say that you were like my ex-roommate and you were given the chance to erase the moment when you told your crush that you liked him and he rejected you, would you do it? I would! Duh...!!! I would do it for the sake that no one will ever know it happened except myself. It would be like "Oops! Not a wise thing to do by professing my love to him...and therefore erase erase erase!!! Wouldn't it be a great thing to do? (Evil Laugh..) I definitely think it is... :)

Well, to return back in time is an impossible thing to do and definitely will bring you nowhere. It is 

as though I am dwelling in my past but for some reason, again, I must say that there is no harm in wishing the impossible as you close your eyes at night losing yourself into the world of dreams and fantasies...Zzzzzzzzzz...

A Drop of Dye Ruins the Whole Jug of Milk - CASE #1

Well I was on a couch the other day on my way to my uncle's place in Johor Bahru...and then there was a couple sitting in front of us. I think the guy is pretty cute and his girlfriend looks pretty okay too. My mum and I decided to sit behind them as there were no seats for us to sit beside each other.

As our journey begins, for some reason, I have absolutely no idea at all why in the world they both wanted to lower their seats and carried their legs on the pole of the couch. At that point of time, I was thinking, Seriously? Is this couch belonged to you guys at the first place? Perhaps I was able to accept the fact they might be relaxing and enjoying the 5/6 hours journey from Kuala Lumpur to Singapore. But then everything changed when the driver of the couch decided to stop for a toilet break. My mum politely said 'Excuse me' and the guy only adjusted his seat a little bit. I stood up and started to ask myself who could pass through a small passage way anyway? Even a toddler would have difficulties in passing through...As my mum tried her best to go through the little space given to her (thanks to the guy), she shook her head not in a bad way, I could assure you but it's just another way for her to express her difficulties of passing through the small space given to her. The guy saw my mum shaking her head and shouted at her: Do you have to shake your head you SILLY woman??? 

Now guys, tell me, what would you react if this happened to you? Thankfully, my mum did not hear the last words because she had went down from the couch. I heard him saying it and I know I should have done or said something about it but when everyone decided to go down from the couch leaving me behind alone with that jerk...Well....I was thinking...He was tall, muscular and big sized...(He's a European by the way) and I on the other hand is just too little for him. I did not know what to do....I wanted to ask whether he realized the woman he had just called silly is my mother??? Perhaps I was not brave enough...I started to imagine stuff he might do to me because I was all alone with him at that precise time...Thankfully he did not dare to say or do anything to me. 

In fact, when his girlfriend returned, she started to complain about how everyone was pushing inside the toilet and that very same moment, my mum told me how everyone was queuing except for that jerk's girlfriend (by the way I think that JERK is a better name for him and both of them are no longer good looking people).She used the toilet without even queuing up. I was shocked although I was grateful after that they decided not to lower their seats down again. Everyone was looking at them inside the couch as the jerk's girlfriend carried her legs on the pole (she was wearing a short dress) and the jerk took his singlet off even though it was pretty cold inside the couch. They were touching each other indecently and my mum saw the jerk's girlfriend grabbing her boyfriend'd private part!!!

I was very angry at both of them for being so inconsiderate and for calling my mum a silly woman. I was telling myself why can't they 'behave' properly in public? I mean they are travelling in a foreign country---Malaysia to be exact. People in Malaysia do not touch each other indecently or speak rudely to strangers in public. There is a Malay proverb stating that 'Masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang kerbau menguak' which literally means that when you enter a goat's pen, you act and sound like one but if you enter a cowshed, then you should act and sound like a cow. In other words, when you are travelling in a foreign country, show some respect to others because behaving rudely would only reflect your own culture - in a very BAD way.

A Minute to Reflect & Relate (Part 2)

Let me share you a story about a little bear who used to belong to a little girl...

There was once a Little girl who had a lot of toys when she was little and one of them was a Little teddy. It was given to her by her grandmother as a gift on her 5th birthday. As you could guess, she received lots of gifts on her birthday. Little teddy did not mind of course as he knew that he was always going to be the little girl's favourite toy...at least that was what Little girl thought. Anyway, Little teddy used to describe the little girl as beautiful, innocent and gentle. All in all she was a good nurtured individual - the symbol of pureness although Little girl never realized this. However, as time went by, little teddy noticed that the little girl was happy playing with her other toys even though he saw the same look whenever she played with him. Little bear was left alone when Little girl started attending kindergarten. 

Little teddy began to think that he did not deserve the little girl's love for him and decided to leave Little girl instead. Little bear thought that Little girl would be better off without him...Little girl was devastated obviously. She did not know what to do. She had been kind to little bear and she even took him to bed with her every night. He was as precious as diamond to her and yet he left. 

The little girl began to blame herself for Little teddy's actions. Was it because she was not good enough for him? Was it because she used to play with other toys instead of him? Or was it because she said or did something that hurt him? Perhaps she did not have a time to spend with him? The Little girl pondered upon these questions almost every single day. Her tears were dried up as she swallowed all her sorrows trying to find answers to her questions and every day the Little girl hopes that she will be awake with Little teddy back into her arms again.

Well it never happens...

Everyone promised to get Little girl a new toy but they were never the same. Nothing was able to replace Little teddy's place for sure...

At the window she looked through

Tears fell down her cheeks

.....

she awaits for his return

.....

They all come and go 

bringing smile to her face

Tears still falling

like raindrops

"There will be sunshine soon

Yes...it will be, soon..."

A Minute To Reflect & Relate...

So...I was watching television this afternoon...the sky was gloomy and inspiration popped in...

I'm not a poet though and I write poems for fun (seriously)...I wonder if you guys ever experienced having an urge or perhaps the best way to call it: An inspiration to write or do something you're passionate about...

Well, I do. The things I wrote about are just plainly my observations on people and things around me, thoughts, opinions, feelings and maybe a little bit of emotions too...Sometimes I find it difficult to express them and well the best way for me to do so is by writing. The best thing about writing poems: Well,  I could indulge myself in the world full of fantasies or fairylands. To compare life with things which are impossible is FUN to me!!! Not to mention the chances you get to play around with words expressing how you feel at this precise moment. Ahhh...The Beauty of English Literature...

Anyway, here are some poems I wrote. It may not be like the ones written by the great poet of all centuries---William Shakespeare (That's what I called him...) but then the point is that I get to taste the beauty of expressing my thoughts through writing and that is all that matters. Take a minute or two to read them and well...enjoy!!! 

To Free

As a child held her mother's hand                                                    

So her soul seized the day

Reluctant to let go

As days passes

Longing and yearning

Memories were screaming

Like a child fell on the ground

Hurt his knees...

"To free...To free...To free"

She whispered...

Silently in her heart and mind

Can she be heard?

"No..." said mouth

A smile is enough...

Yes that's what mouth did...

Throw a smile...

Even though inside

knees still hurting...

Silent scream:

"To free...To free...To free..."

Mi "CORA"

She saw him there

Waving, Smiling

Calling out her name

COR was her name...

Perhaps it was Cora...

Who knew?

But he was calling...

And COR or Cora 

Well, She was alone...

Her Attention was seized

by someone she barely knew

but it's unpleasant to have such thought

COR or Cora

whatever her name was,

Fell...Fell...

Oh the wind...

Bless the moon and the stars...

the beauty of it all...

As she fell, she wondered...

Was her name COR? or Cora?

or neither?

How did she fall anyway?

Did he push her?

or was it just a careless fall

that would only scratch

and scars disappeared into thin air

Or will it be deep enough

to last for eternity?

The Silent Monologue of A Teacher...

A student of mine told her friend, " I will not bring my composition book nor will I do Miss Larissa's homework."

Kids nowadays... 

I was a bit shocked to hear what my student had to say about me. How did I find out? Well, let's say I have my own ways in finding out stuff from kids. Children would actually tell us a lot of things if you were to spend some time with them. 

Anyway, as a teacher, I find it pretty difficult to teach students who frequently refused to complete their homework or do their revision at home. How am I supposed to tell them about the importance of education? Was I too hard on them by giving them homework? Seriously, one particular student of mine refused to do her homework and bring any of her books. She would not even pay her tuition fees. Note that she does not come from a poor family as both her parents own a restaurant. It is pretty weird to me though as they refused to pay their fees and books which cost only RM5.10. I used to complain that surely her parents will not allow people to owe them after having their meals at their restaurant? As a teacher, I did inform her parents about this but well as you can see, they would throw me a smile and promised to pay the next time their children attend my class. They never pay and when I tried asking my student about it, she would laugh at my face as if I was joking. Did I also mention that her parents paid their daughter's tuition fees for other subjects except English Language? It is very unfair indeed! I am not sure why on earth they're doing this but all I can say is that some people can be very ignorant and selfish. 

Throughout my experiences as a teacher, I noticed that most parents usually expect us teachers to educate their children and to help their children to score As in their subjects. Did they realize that as parents, they play an important role in their children's academic performances too? Often, when students fail to achieve good marks in their examinations, parents tend to put the blame on the teachers. They would complain that the teachers did not know how to teach or they're not fit to be teachers. Were they aware of their children being lazy at home or at school or did they ever try to talk to their children about their studies? Nope...most parents  were too busy working and all tuition centres and music centres will eventually turn into daycare centres. Parents expect teachers to do all the jobs in assisting their children's studies. Sometimes, like in my case, besides teaching, I get to babysit children as their parents had to attend important meetings or work overtime. Parents would only fetch their children late in the evening after work. I once asked a particular student of mine about how she usually spends her weekends at home. She told me that, "Mummy will send my brother and I for music classes every weekend." I asked her whether she gets to spend time with her parents and she replied me, "Mummy and daddy work every Saturday. Aunty took care of us. She made us sandwiches." I asked her again whether her parents ever took her out on Sundays and she said, " No...mummy and daddy got tired. Daddy would prefer reading news and watching TV at home and mummy would sometimes bring me to the market but I never like going to the market...It's dirty and smelly." I was shocked to hear what my student had to say. I am glad that when I was a child, my parents used to spend their time with me by bringing me out for lunch or dinner and they would also bring me to the museum, beaches and shopping malls.  Often, we would just sit together at the table and just talked about our day drinking hot drinks and eating biscuits. Indeed, I had wonderful time with my parents throughout my childhood days and I felt pity for my student that her parents never took the chance to spend time with her and her brother instead they send them to music classes and occupy their time with other activities as they work throughout the weekends. 

Sadly, this is how it works nowadays...We tend to neglect our responsibilities as adults in educating our younger generation.  It is no surprise that these children, as they grow up, would in turn neglect their responsibilities in taking care of their parents and instead sending their parents to old folks home. Their excuse? No time of course... 

So a little advice for parents: 

Teach, guide, care and love your children as much as you can.

Try spending some quality time with your children as they learnt the meaning of life. Listen to what they had to say about themselves. It might be about their day at school or the new friends they just met. Parents can also take the opportunity to learn about their children's performances at school, relationships with friends and teachers' comments. Also, try to understand them. As parents, you might be surprised to find out that you can actually learn a lot of things from your children...

"Kids spell love T-I-M-E."

- John Crudele -

Oh Relationships!

I had a conversation with a guy through an online chat room the other day and the issues on relationship popped up. He was telling me that he is not into having a serious relationship and he even whined about how 'suck' it is to commit to your partner. I presume he might have an experience whereby his ex-girlfriend wanted to get things serious but he was not prepared back then. It is not an unusual thing to me as I think I had to agree with him that one should not rush into things just because the people around you are. Like they said: Don't be in a relationship because everyone is in one, it is neither a fashion nor trend. Another guy I spoke with also told me the same thing when I started asking him about his recent breakup with his girlfriend. He said his girlfriend would go crazy whenever there is an advertisement about wedding promotions. They had been living together for years even though they are not married to each other. I was relieved when he told me that they both do not have kids throughout their relationship as it could be terrible for the child or children to not have both parents around due to separation. He even told me that his girlfriend was gaining weight during that particular time and he is no longer attracted to her. Sex he described to me was not as exciting as it used to be. I was quite surprised about the fact that he is no longer sexually attracted to his girlfriend because of her weight...I thought perhaps they had been together for a long time that his girlfriend had 'forgotten' to look good for him...but usually to me, guys who break up with their girlfriends because she is either too fat or too thin are real jerks.

In fact, such things are usually the 'norm' in a relationship but there are several questions which came into my mind that day...(Married couples are excluded)

Number 1: Is relationship all about sex? 

Number 2: Is sex the only thing couples can do in order to enjoy each other's presence?

Number 3: What about spending time looking into each other's eyes? or

Number 4: Walking hand in hand along the beach enjoying the beautiful sunset?

and...finally, another question to ponder about...

Number 5: Do guys usually talk about sexual stuff with ladies they barely know? (this only applies to people on chat rooms)

Personally, I think that my answers to question number 1 and 2 are definitely 'No...' To me, relationship is not all about sex. Also, the things you did together as a couple are not important but instead it is the time that you get to spend with each other that matters. There are a lot of things for couples to do in order to enjoy each other's presence...Question number 3 and 4 are few examples I could think of. I think most ladies would agree with me. I have a friend who used to say that a guy does not always have to pamper a girl with expensive gifts or cash but instead it is the little little things he could do to show his love and appreciation towards a girl. If you are a guy (who happens to read this) and you thought that purchasing expensive gifts for your girlfriend is the actual way to please her then you are sooo wrong! In fact, there are many ways to please a girl like perhaps you can prepare her a breakfast or dinner, eating burgers/ice-creams and holding hands or surprise her with a note saying 'I love you.' and a rose on the table before you leave to work. Try them out and you can see a whole lot of changes in your relationship.

And, lastly but not least, for question number 5...

Do guys usually talk about sexual stuff with ladies they barely know especially through online chat rooms? As a lady myself I would call you a pervert if you speak sexual stuff to me. I can be an open-minded person but showing your thing (you know what I mean) makes you a pervert and for a girl like me definitely it's a turn off. It gives me the idea of guys like that acting immorally in public and tell me guys, you don't ask the girl sitting next to you at the bus stop to comment on the size of your thing right? Think about it guys...

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."

-Edgar Wallace-

Problems...Problems...Problems...

I guess you guys must have guessed what am I going to write about. Yes, it's about problems! Family problems, financial problems, relationship problems, job problems, transportation problems, health problems...etc. No matter how big your problems are, they will always remain as problems and believe it or not small problems may turn out to be bigger ones if there is no attention given.

Anyway, what makes me to write about problems? Well, it's because problems seem to be like a norm among people that I decided to write about it. It all started when I was facing problems in teaching one of my students. She is going to sit for her government examination soon and her mother had just enrolled her into my tuition class. At first, I thought that I was able to teach her without any problems as she looked hardworking and obedient to me. I decided to test her in her writing skills and I tell you it was one easy composition! Her writing was so terrible that she could hardly spell and I found out that she was very weak in English grammar. I tried giving her basic English grammar and even gave her exercises from primary school books but it was no use. And yes...of course, I was devastated and to hear what others said about being a teacher is an easy task. Trust me...it's not an easy work to do. 

Anyway, I decided to meet up with that particular student's mother and I told her about her daughter's studies. As a teacher, I had to do so and her mother was so grateful that I told her about her daughter's studies. She told me this because according to her, back at home, her daughter actually refused to listen to her advises and she started to share me all her problems including her marital problems. All I could do was just listened to her problems and sympathized at her condition.As she was telling me this, it actually made me realize the fact that each and everyone of us indeed has our own problems but somehow I have to admit that I do whine and complain when things do not come my way (yes...even little things). Her story about how she had to send her children to tuition centres to prepare them for their upcoming examinations despite the terrible weather is very touching that I could not help myself by reflecting the times I often took things for granted. I began to reflect the sacrifices of my own mother towards me when I was a child as she told me that she would rather carry all the sins, burdens and bitterness throughout her living just to see her children succeed in their future. I did not know what to reply her but I could only smile and nod my head as a sign of agreement. Even though I may not fully understand a mother's feelings as I am not one yet but to look into her eyes and the shadow of her burdens are all enough for me...

Only mothers can think of the future-because they give birth to it in their children.

-Maxim Gorky-

Hello, How Can I Help You???

I was thinking of what to write these past few days and then I got an idea...Perhaps I should share this to you...

Well, have you guys ever try calling someone from an agency or company but ended up speaking to an operator who does not know anything so he/she passed the call to another person? Then that person happens to be away so you had to call the agency a couple of times until you're out of phone credit? 

I did...

and I can assure you that it was pretty annoying especially when I had important stuff to ask. And when I finally  managed to get in touch with the agency, the person in charge told me that the application is closed! How irritating...The website is even worst...I can't even log onto the agency's website and that was why I had been trying to get in touch with them for months. Now when I finally got them, they told me the application is closed. And I was like WHAT???? Urggghhhhhhhh...

Anyway I had to find another solution and apply through another agency. It is sad and quite frustrating for me  especially when you got to talk to those operators and still ended up clueless. No wonder most people find it very irritating when talking to an operator or people from call centres. I had an experience talking to an operator from a phone company once. I think it happened not long ago. He was very friendly and helpful throughout our conversation. I was happy when he finally solved my problems regarding the activation of my cell phone number. 

However, I had a terrible experience speaking to a bank operator nearly two years ago. I decided to call the bank one day after finding out that I was not able to log onto my online account. A man answered my call and helped me with my account but after that he called me through his private number and started to flirt with me. I was amused about it at first but then after a while he began to brag about his ability of sabotaging a person's online bank account with just a single click from his computer and take all of the person's money. I was terrified so I decided to call up the bank and issued a complain. Well, I found out that it is impossible for a person to break into people's private bank account and steal away their money without having the person's password. I was relief of course...hahaha...He then assured me that he would find out who was responsible in calling customers through private numbers and blackmailing them.

So far, there are flirty operators, annoying operators, helpful operators but then there are also emotional operators. 

This occurred to me when I happened to book an online ticket for my graduation day last year. Anyway, the story began as I was purchasing a ticket online and all of a sudden there was an error during the process of payment. Note that the air fare cost me almost RM1000++. I realized that the payment was done but I was not able to get my air ticket. I called the airline agency and a lady answered my call. I was asking her about my money and why I was unable to get my ticket. She explained to me that there was a technical problem during the process of my payment. I was quite annoyed as she spoke to me rudely via the phone. I was actually worried about both my money and ticket. Without the ticket, I would not be able to return back to my campus and graduate. It would be terrible for me. I think it was because I kept pestering her about the whereabouts of my money and whether I will be able to get it back or not that she started to get pissed and raised her voice to me. I was shocked! I decided to ask her name and jotted down all the details of my payment and ticket number. I was lucky she gave her name to me because I would seriously find her if I did not receive my money and ticket within 24 hours. She ended up the conversation by hanging up my call rudely and you should see my face (as red as a tomato)....hahahaha. Thank goodness, by the end of the day, I received my ticket and my payment was successful. I thank God for that. (A smiley face).

In fact, I have more stories and experiences speaking with operators through the phone but so far, these are the unforgettable ones. It's not that I despise phone operators but we all have to admit that everyone has their own weaknesses and everyone does mistakes. No one is perfect. And by the way, I almost work as a bank negotiator few months ago and part of my job was to call up customers regarding their loan payments. I declined the job and I'm actually glad I did. It is not easy to be a phone operator or negotiator. I guess one must have good communication skills and patience in order to be a phone operator or negotiator. Well, guess I happen to be lack of patience and besides I'm not really keen with the job as a negotiator even though I studied communication skills when I did my Bachelor's Degree before. I actually hold onto a belief that a person must have a passion in what he/she is doing in order to get a good job result and to avoid stress at workplace in the future.

(Note that the story I shared to you guys is merely based on my point of view --- an observation of my personal life and experiences. It does not refer to anyone or mean for any individual.)

Get set...Okay, I'm Not Prepared..

What happens if you thought that you were prepared of doing or having something then you had it but finally found out that you are actually unprepared? Well, this usually happens in relationships, choice of careers etc. Definitely…things would get messed up and yes you’re going to have problems ahead. Trust me. I experienced it all. Well, okay i’m not going to exaggerate here, I experienced it once or perhaps twice before and seriously it was not a good experience. Like the time when I actually thought that I was prepared for having a relationship but the truth was deep within, I was not prepared (still am now). It all started when I saw my friends having relationships with the opposite sex and I began to think: “Perhaps I should try dating…Friends were doing it and maybe I should go for it too…”

                                       Tetttttttttttt…. bad idea.

Well, it was a bad experience and now I have to tell others I went through a bad date once and I don’t like it…Perhaps this was why you should never do the things someone told you not to. But look at the positive side, at least I have the experience now. I know it’s a bad one but people grow and learn from their mistakes. Guess I’ll just have to accept things the way they are. 

Now, I do things based on past experiences, lots of thinking and well yes I have to admit sometimes intuitions work well. Prayers and lots of faith help me in making wise decisions in terms of career, life and relationships too. I know I am the type of person who has trouble in making decisions and I enjoy making choices spontaneously. A guy friend of mine once told me that being spontaneous is good. I’m not sure he is completely right though. There are things where you can make spontaneous decisions but there are some that need thorough thinking and advises or consultations from the elders.  By the way, the word ‘elders’ refers to parents or any family members, counselors and maybe even your psychiatrist. 

Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah… the thing about being spontaneous. So, like I said earlier, spontaneous can be good and bad at the same time. Besides, it’s not that you’re catching a train or a flight right? It’s your future…The choices you made affects your life, happiness and yes, safety too. Do not rush into things like how I did with my ex once. It ended terribly for me. I had my bad days but life must go on. I’m still not prepared in having any emotional connections with the opposite sex yet. At least not for now. My first priority is to achieve my ambition and maybe later I will think about having a serious relationship and well who knows…I might even want to have my own family too. 

One last thing…the number 24 is such a small number for me that it actually reminds me of how I usually say “They got married in such a young age…What a pity…” during friends’ weddings. But then my mum would interrupt me saying ” I got married at the age of 24…” 

And that actually shuts me up…hahaha…

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by. And that   has made all the difference.”

-Robert Frost-